Live by the conspiracy theory, die by the conspiracy theory.
As the MAGA world implodes over its failed Epstein list obsession—maybe because President Donald Trump is on it—let’s not forget another unhinged conspiracy it promised to solve: chemtrails.
Yes, chemtrails.
Last August, Health and Human Services Secretary and full-time conspiracy theorist Robert F. Kennedy Jr. responded to a bonkers chemtrails post on X, vowing to “stop this crime.”
Then, in an April appearance on “Dr. Phil,” Kennedy doubled down on chemtrails.
“That is not happening in my agency. We don’t do that. It’s done—we think—by DARPA, and a lot of it now is coming out of the jet fuel. Those materials are put in jet fuel,” he said. “I’m going to do everything in my power to stop it,” he said. “We’re bringing on somebody who’s gonna think only about that, find out who’s doing that and hold them accountable.”
The chemtrail conspiracy theory falsely claims that the white trails left by planes are chemical or biological agents sprayed by the government for sinister purposes—like weather control, mind control, or population suppression.
In reality, they’re contrails—short for condensation trails—made of nothing more than ice crystals formed when hot, humid jet exhaust hits cold upper-atmosphere air. It’s basic physics. If the air is humid enough, the trail lingers. If it’s dry, it disappears quickly. There’s no spraying. No mind control. Just water vapor and science.
And DARPA, which stands for the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, is not a secret weather-manipulation unit. If Kennedy genuinely believes this nonsense, he could just pick up the phone and ask his buddy, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, whether the military is dosing the skies with mind-control mist.
But creating a taxpayer-funded position for a full-time chemtrail detective is easier than just admitting that you don’t understand clouds or condensation. And for a MAGA base still emotionally shattered by the Epstein list flop, Kennedy’s jet-fuel hysteria is just another hit of the good stuff.
Because when one conspiracy theory fizzles, there’s always another waiting in the sky.