President Donald Trump held one of his cult-of-personality Cabinet meetings Tuesday, most of which was spent, of course, with his minions lathering him up with obsequious praise.

First up was Steve Witkoff, who gushed that his position as special envoy to the Middle East is “the greatest honor of my life,” thanking Trump for the “privilege” of representing his “humanitarian effort” to solve global conflicts—a promise that Trump has spectacularly failed to deliver on since Day 1.

Meanwhile, Labor Secretary Lori Chavez-DeRemer begged Trump to visit her office so he can “see your big, beautiful face on a banner in front of the Department of Labor, because you are really the transformational president of the American worker.”

And Agriculture Secretary Brooke Rollins thanked Trump “for saving college football.” Yes, really.

“The country just feels different. It just feels different,” she said.

Of course, National Intelligence Director Tulsi Gabbard was also there, doing what she does best—which is whatever Trump tells her to do. 

“As we approach Labor Day weekend here, this is just such a great opportunity, really, to recognize your leadership as a true champion for working people,” Gabbard said. 

And finally, Attorney General Pam Bondi took a break from chasing down Americans exercising their First Amendment rights to promise to crack down on drunk boaters over the weekend.

“It is illegal to be under the influence and on a boat. So get a designated boater if you’re out on our waterways, whether it’s the Potomac or the Gulf of America or the Pacific, wherever you’re out this weekend.”

Has she never seen one of those Trump boat parades?