When faced with the question of who will win the Championship this season, the words of that great philosopher Homer J Simpson spring to mind.
“I never make predictions – and I never will.”
This self-defeating maxim seems like a particularly apt code to live by when it comes to contemplating the strange and splendid chaos that is Scotland’s second tier.
And it all kicks-off on Friday evening with Arbroath hosting Ayr United in front of the Sportscene cameras.
Forget about predictions and sane football chat, just enjoy the madness – and hope the Gayfield wind machine is switched on for even more added spice.
The days of Dick Campbell at Arbroath are long gone but the embers of that bunnet-inspired titanic title tussle with Kilmarnock back in season 2021-22 still burn brightly on the Angus coast.
Two of his trusty lieutenants from those glory days – Colin Hamilton and David Gold – now share player-management duties, and to great effect. The club will unfurl the League One flag before the match with Ayr, testament to a side that knows how to win.
However, the second tier is a different barrel of smoked fish. While the Red Lichties may publicly aspire to higher ambitions, survival for the part-time side would surely count as success. After all, their last match was a 1-0 defeat to League Two Forfar Athletic. Clearly that is not ideal.
Is scent of promotion in the Ayr?
What does success look like for Ayr United?
At the end of last season a visibly scunnered Scott Brown cast doubt on his own future as Ayr exited the play-offs.
But those dark clouds have seemingly scudded off into the distance with Brown leading his side to four wins out of four in the Premier Sports Cup group stage, including a 4-0 win over Arbroath at Somerset Park.
Add to this new signings like Dom Thomas, Kevin Holt and Shaun Want who have all returned from across the Irish Sea – indeed, former Hamilton Academical defender Want was player of the season for a Larne side who competed in Europe – and suddenly the Honest Men look to have the nous and ability to set solid foundations.
Off the field the club is heading in the right direction too. Could this finally be their year?
Their final match of the season will be at home to St Johnstone. The Perth side are among the favourites to win the division after their 16-year stay in the top flight came to an end.
They have stuck with Simo Valakari, clearly believing in his vision of attack-minded football. It worked for Falkirk last season and has clearly worked for the Saints in the League Cup thus far, four wins out of four ending in a flourish with an 8-0 destruction of Elgin City.
Add to this an intriguing blend of decent performers from last season – Sven Sprangler, Jason Holt and Adama Sidebeh – now allied with proven Championship additions like Sam Stanton, Reece McAlear and Morgan Boyes and there looks to be promise there. The signing of Stevie Mallan also catches the eye.
Some bookies are making the other relegated Premiership side Ross County favourites to win the title.
Appointing BBC Scotland pundits seems to be de rigueur and owner Roy McGregor has prised John Robertson away from weekends on Sportsound to lend his experience to manager Don Cowie.
The Staggies have also brought in quality and experience with Declan Gallagher, Ross Docherty, Nicky Clark and Gary Mackay-Steven. They all know this territory inside out and should immediately stamp some identity into the side.
It would certainly be a big surprise if County or St Johnstone finish outside the top four. The evidence of Livingston last season shows that the teams dropping out of the top flight are highly likely to be in the mix.
Also traditionally in that top four mix are Partick Thistle, but how will they fare without talismanic captain and striker Brian Graham who left to join Falkirk?
Pretty well if the League Cup is any barometer. The Jags were another side with four wins out of four to win their group. Interestingly that also included a 3-1 away win at Ross County. The addition of Tony Watt, who won the Championship with Dundee United, looks astute as they seek to replace the 20-goals-a-season gap left by Graham.
Will box office Dunfermline deliver blockbuster season?
Could the box office be at Dunfermline Athletic? Possibly, with poker playing tycoon co-owner James Bord – who also has involvement with a sports analytic firm – now in control at East End Park along with former Celtic boss Neil Lennon in the dugout.
Some make them Championship dark horses and three wins in the League Cup plus a defeat at Hearts where they earned plaudits points to positive signs for the Pars.
They kick off their season off away to Greenock Morton who are another club to have brought in an experienced hand to help the manager. In this case it’s the former Motherwell, Derby and Nottingham Forest boss Billy Davies who has arrived as technical head coach to work with Dougie Imrie.
Three League Cup group wins and second round progression to face Aberdeen bodes well.
Perhaps the best bit of business Raith Rovers did in the summer was keeping star winger Dylan Easton. If he can keep back spasm issues at bay he has proved before that he can be one of the star players in this division.
He already has five goals in four matches in what was mixed bag of a League Cup campaign for the Kirkcaldy side.
And what to make of Airdrieonians? Hamilton Academical’s points deduction which saw them plunge into League One saw gave the Diamonds the chance to survive via the play-offs.
There will be hope they can do better this time given Rhys McCabe’s side won plenty of plaudits in their first season in the second tier. That 1-0 win over Premiership Dundee in the League Cup will have done no harm.
And lastly Queen’s Park… With wealthy philanthropist Willie Haughey ending his financial backing of the club next summer, this season looks like being all about transition. Given this backdrop, it is difficult to see them emulating the promotion push of 2023.
Of course, the football is only part of it in the Championship, where we have the allure of those hard-fired pies (which only occasionally get fired onto the pitch), the rickety stands which evoke memories of a bygone age and the passion and colour which spill forth from those stands in often wondrous and wacky ways onto our television screens on Friday nights.
The soul of Scottish football lives here. It is wonderful to be part of it and the madcap chaos is about to begin again. Sit back and enjoy.