Erik Gibson heard the derogatory comments about the sport that he has dedicated his life to, and the Penn State wrestler tried to laugh them off.
“People would always say wrestling is the gayest sport out there, or people would make weird sexual jokes about men rolling around with each other,” the Bishop McCort Catholic graduate says in a video he posted to Instagram on Friday. “It was always laughed off, but it was never funny for me.”
In fact, he says, the opposite was true.
“I’d sit there pretending to laugh just to survive,” Gibson said, “but inside I was actually crying because every joke told me, ‘Keep hiding, don’t be yourself.’ ”
When he announced 2½ months ago, also via Instagram, that he is gay, Gibson – who was a member of Penn State’s past two NCAA championship teams – joined a very select group. Only a few male wrestlers have come out while still actively competing in college, according to Jason Bryant, one of the sport’s top historians.
In his video, which he posted during Pride Month, Gibson speaks about his journey.
“Over time, I realized something I wish I could tell every closeted athlete: You don’t have to choose between being great at your sport and being true to yourself,” Gibson says. “If you are an athlete struggling with your identity, I want you to know this: You are not weak for being scared. You are not broken, and you are not alone.
“There is so much strength in honesty, and when you finally step into the world as yourself – no mask, no hiding – that is the real win. To every gay athlete out there, I may not know you, but I do see you. I am with you, so I want you to keep going.”
It took time for Gibson to speak up about his sexuality.
“Coming out wasn’t one big moment for me,” he says. “It was kind of like thousands of little moments of courage. Moments like telling a teammate on a quiet car ride home or texting a friend because I simply could not get the words out.”
In the video, Gibson says he worried about the reaction from his Penn State coaches and teammates when he announced that he was gay, but he found them to be supportive.
“They didn’t push me away,” he said. “They leaned in. Not all of them understood right away – and maybe some of them still don’t – but the people who mattered, most showed up when I needed them the most.”
Teammate Beau Bartlett, who was a three-time All-American for the Nittany Lions, commented on Gibson’s video, saying, “Be yourself. It’s the only thing anyone can be. Thank you for the reminder, Rickle.”
Response to the video has been overwhelmingly positive, with it drawing more than 400 likes in the first 24 hours and supportive comments, including from his brother, Mason, who just wrapped up his freshman year wrestling for Rutgers, and from Melvin Miller, who won a state title wrestling for Bishop McCort last season.
“Love you brother, got ur back always,” Mason posted, with two heart emojis, while Miller wrote, “Love you G,” with a pair of hearts.
Erik Gibson’s bio on the Penn State website says he went 3-1 in collegiate opens after arriving in State College. He announced after the season that he was entering the transfer portal, but he told The Tribune-Democrat on Saturday that he is not planning to use his final two seasons of college eligibility, although he would like to continue competing in freestyle events.
“Wrestling is one of the toughest sports out there,” Gibson says in the video. “It demands everything from your body, from your mind, from your heart. The one thing I never thought I’d be able to bring into the sport was myself – not fully, not to the max.”
A two-time state medalist at Forest Hills High School, Gibson was ineligible to compete for PIAA titles after he transferred to Bishop McCort before his junior year.
For years, he has tried to hide his true feelings.
“I knew that I was gay before I ever stepped onto a college mat, but I told myself to keep quiet, that I needed to be one of the guys,” he says in the video. “I didn’t think I could afford to be any different.”